The wrong dating mindsets will probably keep you in the dating phase; before it gets to the next level, something will come up and ruin the whole thing. Keep reading if you are wondering you may be doing wrong that is preventing you from meeting Mr. Right or Mrs. Right.
Before you continue, as a lady, check this out if you are still wondering why you good men are not attracted to you. Also, as a man, you can check out how to be attractive 😉 thank me later. All right, now that we have clarified that, let’s move on to the reason why you are here; why are you stuck in dating?
Some beliefs can mar or make us; having unhealthy views towards relationships can prevent you from meeting the right people, or make you scare the ones who genuinely care. Here are some unhealthy beliefs you need to watch out for, then amend your ways
All good men are taken: as a lady, saying and believing all men are taken will only make you settle for less, or start preying on married men. Believe it or not, there are good men, men who will respect, love, and cherish their women. So what if you’ve dated some “bad” men, take the lessons and move ahead; it is not enough reason to zero men out. When you meet new people, give them a chance and see them for who they really are and not what you presume they are. Besides, do not let your bitter experience with a certain tribe, state, or country rob you of a good friendship.
Girls are after my money:
Lol, it will be difficult for me to say this, without you thinking I’m biased. Yes, you may be right as a man to believe that all girls care about is money, money, and money. Unfortunately, not all girls are after what you have. Some do care about who you are as a person, your beliefs, how you see the world, and what kind of a man you will be to your wife. Besides, if you keep meeting women who are after what they can get from you, then something is probably wrong somewhere. Maybe you gave them the impression that your money is all that you can offer as a man.
Men are intimidated by my success:
What some independent ladies go through in their mind, which is unhealthy, is to believe all men are intimidated by their success. However, what does happen in some cases is when the women are rude, self-absorbed, and have some nasty characters that drive good men away. No one loves nonsense, nobody, especially men with sense, will settle for your potty mouth just because you are independent. Men should take note too; just because you have enough to flaunt around does not mean a sensible woman will swallow your crap.
Men don’t want to commit:
Ladies, do not be fooled by their social media rants; men also look forward to that day they will say I DO to their queens, just as we do. Yes, some men just want to hit it and bounce, but you need to project yourself to them that you aren’t that type…so do not be scared to let him know too.
I’m not pretty, skinny, tall enough, fair, or smart enough:
No one will treat you better than how you treat yourself. If you feel you aren’t pretty, macho, skinny, or fair enough to attract your dream man, you have no business dating in the first place. You will be giving your partner extra burden by expecting them always to counter you whenever you say shitty things about yourself. People naturally gravitate toward confident people. Also, they move away from people who are not; if you do not love yourself, why should they?
I’m doing everything right, but it is still not working:
all right, you’ve probably checked the above list, but you always find yourself in the same dating circle…it is not enough reason to give up on a relationship. There are lessons to be learned. Have fun; stop behaving like a wife, when you are still a girlfriend; forget this whole wife material- do not try to be who you are not, or do all that you can to show him/her that you are the perfect match.
Trust me, you will be worn out even before the journey starts, and it may no longer be fun for you. Enjoy the dating process; when it is time to act as a wife/husband, you do that. The point is, do not be under pressure trying to act as the perfect wife/husband when you are still a girlfriend/boyfriend. You are enough to keep the right man’s or woman’s attention.
What to do to break out of the dating loop
Have a positive attitude towards your date
One thing you need to fight against is your laxity towards dating; after being in several relationships, people tend to think dates are a waste of time, so they no longer bother to try to make things work. Relationships are hard work, and perseverance; forget the happy pictures on social media or cute couple clips on YouTube. If you must enjoy your relationship, then be ready to put in the work. However, ensure your partner has the same perseverance, too, because there is no use force a horse to the river.
Be real in your expectations, not every happily ever after starts on the same note; people are different, different core values, and diverse backgrounds. So, do not expect your date to have the same mindset as you.
Also, expect to run across jerks and gold diggers; yes, I do not promise a glitch-free relationship. You will meet guys who just want to hit and bounce; you will meet girls who are in as long you pay their bills. Let this sink in, but don’t let it hold you back.
Furthermore, expect to meet men and women (if you are a guy) that are good, but have flaws you may not like.
To avoid unnecessary dates, or spending too much time on someone you will never end up with, I suggest you get a piece of paper or diary, write out five things you would love your partner to have. Please think carefully before writing them. Once you are done, strikeout two you can overlook or do without, use the information you have to know if he or she is the one you can spend time with. By the way, ensure you have at least three of the things you listed.
Now that you know what to do, I believe you will approach dating with a new and better mindset.
If you have dating experiences you would like to share, feel free to use the comment section.